Emotional and Spiritual Hoarding
While thinking about what to write about, I wanted to explore the idea of ‘starting your day over again’. A key part of being able to start your day over is being able to make an honest self appraisal and say or do whatever is necessary to stop, regroup, and change your path. In the process of writing that post (I subsequently changed the title of that post to ‘Honest Self Appraisal without Self Loathing’), I remembered the John Lennon song Just Like Starting Over, and thought that I would use that song for that post. When I saw the video though, I saw that it did not really convey the idea that I had intended. The video itself made me uncomfortable, as ;I watched this declaration of love, all I could think about was that he had been shot and killed. It felt terribly painful and ironic. This video has remained in my consciousness, gnawing at me, knowing that there was something important there, which I could not quite put my finger on…
Another aspect of ‘taking care of oneself’ is something that I am calling ’emotional and spiritual hoarding’: holding on to your love and happiness so that it’s not as painful when you lose it. Not loving fully, not living fully with this vague notion that somehow you’re better off, ‘safer’, less pained when things turn sour. ‘Don’t climb to the mountaintop, the fall will kill you’.
Emotional and spiritual hoarding is a way of coping with the fear of having an overwhelming painful experience. Being afraid of being hurt and so not living fully. Tucking your love into the back of your drawer, hiding away your passion in the corner of your closet, not admitting to yourself what you really want to do. What is your reaction to this video? Do you thing that the pain (of his death) was due to the fact that they loved each other? Is the way to avoid this type of pain to pull back and not ‘go there’ with others?
Psychotherapy helps with connecting the dots of past experiences and current emotional issues. Energy work helps with releasing the blockages that keep us in emotional trenches. Working with sound is especially helpful for those who cannot quiet their inner critic.