• something to ponder

    Loyalty

    Loyalty – I wrote this and posted it elsewhere, thought it should go here as well. In Santería, Obba is the faithful wife of Changó. She is tricked into believing that if she cuts off her left ear and puts it in her husband’s soup, it will cast a magic spell on him and make her more attractive to him. More attractive than the women he philanders with. The woman that he is having the affair with, is in fact, the one that tricks Obba into cutting off her ear. Morals of the story: don’t use magic to get your way; look more closely to see what the real problem…

  • mind - body - spirit through song,  something to ponder

    rewriting history

    Rewriting history We all come with baggage Things that happened to us as children; as teenagers and as adults Maybe a family member was insensitive to our needs; perhaps there was cruelty either accidental or intentional. There is remorse or regret over something we did: maybe we were the bully ; or we were the abuser. At times the victim becomes the victimizer. You can gaze at the past but do not dwell on it. We have learned – through self help books and therapy that we need to ‘work through’ our issues; which we dutifully do – we journal; talk about it; cry over it; confront the individuals that…

  • something to ponder

    how to save the world

    Last Sunday, my spouse and I decided to go for a late afternoon walk in the park. It was our lazy way out of doing a 3 mile run. Instead, we decided to walk the 3+ mile loop of our park with our dogs, as a way of getting the miles in but not over-exerting ourselves. This of course, is not the point of this post, but I need to set up this scenario. We walked around the park, but although it was already late afternoon, it was pretty hot, and our dogs are not used to the heat; and although they are fit, 3 miles was a big jump…

  • mind - body - spirit through song

    The Lazy Song

    Very cute video.  As I was on my treadmill, struggling with running after not having run for several days, I heard this song on the radio.  It struck me that while he did not feel like doing anything, he in fact, wrote this song, set it to music, and directed the video, had friends/associates that could do the video with him, and it became a number one hit. There is nothing wrong with taking a mental health day, feeling lazy, or laying on the couch all day on the weekend watching tv…but the fact is, that you do have to show up for yourself and do the things that you don’t…

  • something to ponder

    secondary gain

    One thing to look at when thinking about unremitting problems is what is the secondary gain from staying stuck?  Just as an alcoholic who gets sober suddenly finds themselves with a whole lot of time on their hands, so do others who make significant changes in their life.   What would you be doing if you didn’t have your situation?  Do you know? Looking at this a little more concretely, we can look at alcoholism.  With the elimination of alcoholic drinking, an individual will then have a whole lot of time, and probably extra money, on their hands.  There is no more time spent hungover, recovering from the night before; and no more time spent ruminating…

  • something to ponder

    no magic wand, no crystal ball

    The therapist only knows what you tell them.  Sure, if the therapist has experience, they could probably surmise some things that you may not have spoken about yet, and hopefully, ask you directly to see if certain things are true for you.  The more you work therapy, the more it will work for you.  The amount of help a therapist can provide is directly proportional to how much work you are willing to do.  This is important to realize because at times, therapists are seen as having some form of magical qualities that will make you ‘better’.    This is not so.  YOU make yourself better by working at making the…

  • something to ponder

    inner child

    I see this song as sung by the singer’s inner child to the singer.   In Pink’s Family Portrait, the child is her as they are dressed in the same clothes and even have the same beauty marks on their faces. It’s not until she acknowledges this inner child that she gets to a better place.  Pink – Family Portrait So much has been written about inner child work.  The main premise of inner child work centers on the idea that there is an aspect of the adult that remains a child and holds the emotional memories of events and experiences as well as reactions.  This inner child needs to be given a voice.  Usually, as adults, we reject ideas or feelings that…

  • something to ponder

    making changes

    Anaïs Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” Changing is difficult; taking risks; going down a new path.  Familiar misery feels safer than the unknown leap into something we desire. At times, it is difficult to really see ‘why’ is nothing changing “even though I desire it so?”.  One difficulty is that an individual looks at the horizon, their goal or destination but then does not look at where their feet are planted, nor do they take the next step.   All these inspirational messages are for naught when we cannot apply them to our…

  • mind - body - spirit through song

    alone again, naturally

    This is not a post adressing suicidal thoughts.  If you feel like you are going to hurt yourself, please talk to someone or take yourself to the nearest ER. The song is about loss: being left at the altar, the mother dying, father dying, relationships ending and being alone.  But the critical word, I believe, is ‘naturally’.  The idea that you are alone again, – of course, what else is there for me; I’m forever destined to be alone. http://youtu.be/D_P-v1BVQn8 How we perceive an event and the reason things happen to us is one of the centerpieces of our mental health.  If I think that I’m doomed to be alone…