Honest self – appraisal without self loathing
Will I just take my slick to the grave
I’d rather live telling the truth than be judged for my mistakes
I went to the gym this morning, trying to start going regularly again. As I walked to the gym, I imagined a news crew at the entrance interviewing people who go to the gym in 5 degree weather. I imagined I’d say it was my first day back, and that I was determined to start coming back regularly. As I imagined this, I chuckled to myself as I remembered that last month was my ‘first day back’ and I believe the month before I also went to the gym, determined to start going regularly.
Certain recovery programs have a saying that you can always ‘start your day over’ in the middle of the day, the afternoon, in the evening. The idea behind it is that even if you start your day on the wrong foot, you can take a step back, regroup, and start over.
‘I love you, you’re perfect. Now change’. This is the title of a play, I don’t know what it’s about exactly, but the way I see it, this phrase highlights the idea of balancing the unconditional acceptance of oneself as being ‘good enough’ while also embracing the idea of being a ‘work in progress’ and there being ‘room for improvement’.
A difficult part of honest self appraisal is to not get caught up in the quagmire of berating yourself for your current situation. After becoming aware of your the role you played in your current situation, the next step is to lovingly accept yourself. Then, without criticism, self loathing or judgment, go on about your work of acknowledging and correcting your behavior.