You Spot It, You Got It

January 21, 2014 0 Comments

One indirect way that fears rear their ugly head is to take the form of projection – we believe others are feeling something that we in fact are feeling, but are unable to acknowledge: ‘THEY think I’m _____’; ‘THEY are saying ______’. It is then easier to focus on angry feelings: ‘ how dare someone …

rewriting history

November 30, 2012 0 Comments

Rewriting history We all come with baggage Things that happened to us as children; as teenagers and as adults Maybe a family member was insensitive to our needs; perhaps there was cruelty either accidental or intentional. There is remorse or regret over something we did: maybe we were the bully ; or we were the …

Thanksgiving syndrome

March 10, 2012 0 Comments

Thanksgiving is long gone right now, but it’s a good a time as any to discuss this ‘syndrome’.  Basically, Thanksgiving Syndrome is the idea that no matter how enlightened you’ve become or you feel, you have this tendency to revert back to your former self when back with family.  If you can relate to this, you’ve probably resolved to …

pass the scalpel, please

February 26, 2012 0 Comments

If you are contemplating going into therapy for the first time, chances are you are not in a good place in your life; and chances are that you are worried you are entering into psychotherapy hell – will you actually be helping yourself by spending all this money to talk about your past?  Will the …

making changes

February 19, 2012 0 Comments

Anaïs Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” Changing is difficult; taking risks; going down a new path.  Familiar misery feels safer than the unknown leap into something we desire. At times, it is difficult to really see …

alone again, naturally

February 15, 2012 0 Comments

This is not a post adressing suicidal thoughts.  If you feel like you are going to hurt yourself, please talk to someone or take yourself to the nearest ER. The song is about loss: being left at the altar, the mother dying, father dying, relationships ending and being alone.  But the critical word, I believe, …

i will survive

February 15, 2012 0 Comments

This song is the mantra for many people who grew up in that era and thereafter.  I remember being on the dancefloor where there was always someone crying while dancing, yelling out the lyrics to the song, possbily after one beer too many.  Songs help people identify their emotions, express them and hopefully move on.  …

practice makes progress

February 12, 2012 0 Comments

Practice makes progress.  You can aspire to perfect, possibly, but only if this aspiration does not leave you feeling like you are eternally falling short.  Self esteem and self confidence come from doing esteemable things.  Doing those things that you would admire yourself for if you were to do them regularly, if they were part …

shame and isolation

February 2, 2012 0 Comments

Shame and Isolation:  these two states exacerbate mental unwellness.  Shame is essentially, believing in your own low self-worth; your ‘wrongness’; and often, shows your inability to forgive yourself – your sense that possibly you ought not to be forgiven.  If you are ashamed of yourself – your thoughts or your actions, it is very difficult …